Imagine My Immortal but written in the style of Shakespeare.
SCENE 1. A MAGIC SCHOOL CALLED HOGWARTS IN ENGLAND
Enter ENOBY
ENOBY
For truth, that which the gods have christened me Has many parts, like these locks, flow’n from my crown. That hellish sound, which forms mine name, sprung from The dusky shades of these roots, so like the stone But broken, rent, mottled; for, like the flames That hie from Hades, the dusk is split with peals Of cold violet, the shade of icy fangs Met with military scarlet; coils not But hangs; not ragged, but lustrous, set off Like a precious jewel made more pure by the Barren winds of silent winter deserts, So are not these jewels of mine own self-crown Brought forth in splendour so close to these eyes Frozen, as glaciers, forged by an artist Who, bereft of artisan tools, gives himself And sculpts his godly business with that Which the muses draw blindly from his vision. Thus sorrow, reflected twice in these mirrors, Casting mine eyes as icy limpid tears.
Imagine Shakespeare but written in the style of My Immortal
Hi my name is Hamlet and I have long blond hair that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like the sun god Apollo (AN: if u don’t know who he is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to him but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. My mother married my uncle after my father died. I have pale white skin. I’m also a student, and I went to a school called Wittenberg in Germany but I just graduated. I’m a prince (in case you couldn’t tell) but I wear mostly black bc I’m in mourning. I For example today I was wearing a black doublet with matching lace around it and a black tights, white undershirt and black boots. I was with my mother and Horatio. We were standing inside Elsinore. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. My uncle Claudius stared at me. I put up my middle finger at him.
Aries: setting his coffee table on fire
Taurus: getting stabbed on his birthday
Gemini: recommending movies to himself in a chat room
Cancer: traveling without bringing any changes of underpants
Leo: spending all day in the hospital, bored, waiting for someone to try to kill him
Virgo: knifing a guy on the first day of high school
Libra: not eating hot pot
Scorpio: getting hung up on by his only friend after being stabbed
Sagittarius: claiming to be 21 for almost a decade
Capricorn: turning his middle school biology club into a gambling ring
Acquarius: putting a decapitated head in his backpack
Pisces: punching a lamp post
me: revolutionary girl utena is a masterpiece. one of the great works of postmodern feminism; a tragic, visceral deconstruction of societal expectations of gender and sexuality
revolutionary girl utena: *elephants on surfboards* *characters turning into cows* *magic exploding curry that causes people to switch bodies* *half-naked men posing sensually with potted cacti on the hood of a car* *dude punches a kangaroo in the face*