the most hypocritical aspects of the signs

aries: hates the phrase “fight me” but still picks fights over every. damn. thing.
taurus: i can’t believe them but they judge stubborn people? really taurus? really?
gemini: wants people to be up front with them while being majorly passive aggressive
cancer: doesn’t want to deal with other people’s overemotional episodes while having them ALL THE TIME
leo: wants to be left alone & wants attention at the same time
virgo: hates when people complain, complains more than anyone
libra: wants people to be serious and IS NEVER SERIOUS
scorpio: gets annoyed by clinginess, is clingy af
sagittarius: likes to be the ~chill~ one but gets really upset over the strangest and most specific things
capricorn: won’t tell you their feelings for 10 billion years and pressure you to share yours
aquarius: worries about other people’s health and safety while constantly putting their own at risk
pisces: doesn’t like it when people can’t adapt to change but will hold a grudge like no other

zodiac aesthetics

gldstndrd:

aries: knitted scarves, red lipstick, fairy lights, lemongrass, old books, balloons, minimalism

taurus: mist rising in the sky, wanderlust, architecture, collared shirts, cherry blossoms

gemini: random words in foreign languages, existential quotes, black, succulents

cancer: ms paint, paper lanterns, fluffy socks, floral patterns, abandoned places, clothes with pockets

leo: stars, vintage, symmetry, glass, polaroids, high ceilings, vanilla, willow trees

virgo: watercolors, clouds, photography, tattoos, lace, monochrome, calligraphy, tea

libra: pastel colors, perfect eyeliner, pixel art, sunsets, freshly cut grass, impressionism

scorpio: melted chocolate, song lyrics, dyed hair, scented candles, rain, burning wood

sagittarius: oversized hoodies, graph paper, chapstick, flower crowns, peppermint

capricorn: poinsettias, gauzy curtains, the smell of cinammon, teal, backyard greenhouses

aquarius: chlorinated pool water, mismatched socks, piano music, brown eyes, potted plants

pisces: space, plaid, gradients, brand-new pens, snowflakes, coffee, dandelions

why people don’t fuck with your sign

Aries: you’re too rash and too extra about everything
Taurus: you want people to give you the entire world but find it hard to sacrifice for others
Gemini: people can usually tell how fake you’re gonna be within the 3 seconds of meeting you
Cancer: you complain 24/7 and pity yourself too much
Leo: you act very modest and lowkey when you first meet people but you progressively become loud, annoying, and cocky without realizing and it throws people off
Virgo: you go off on people for the slightest reasons
Libra: you don’t have a mind of your own
Scorpio: you’re resting bitch face makes you look intimidating and unapproachable
Sagittarius: you secretly want people to worship the ground you step on and can’t control what comes out of your mouth
Capricorn: you’re extremely depressing to be around especially when you’re not in control of a situation/don’t get what you want
Aquarius: you have a really bad god complex
Pisces: you’re oblivious to everything around you and it makes people feel like you’re neglecting them even though you’re not

Telltales of the Signs or How to Guess Someone’s Sign

Aries: Tendency to talk over you. Strong opinions. A very ‘me’ person, but at the same time very caring to those around them. Friends are like family.
Taurus: Slow and quiet, both regarding talking and moving. Super human nose for some reason. Clear voices. Scared of the unknown.
Gemini: They have a lot of facial expressions to the point they can be caricaturesque. Always moving from one place to another. Hand talkers.
Cancer: Always worrying about something. They need a lot of reassurance. If uncomfortable or upset, they tend to fold into themselves, like they’re trying to ocupy as little space as possible.
Leo: Always checking themselves out. They have a hair Thing. They smile a lot. They hate negativity. Very uncomfortable when someone is unhappy and they make it their job to fix it.
Virgo: Very opinionated. Hands are always in motion. Probably think they can do everything better and, annoyingly enough, usually can.
Libra: Compulsively need harmony. Lazier than they seem. Always being able to see the two sides of a story, but unable to pick a side themselves.
Scorpio: They notice more than they let on. They get off by getting on your nerves.
Sagittarius: Zero filter. Their foot is permanently on their mouth. Huge skeptics. To them, seeing is believing. Wanderlust.
Capricorn: Always ‘working’ on something. Begrudgingly end up taking care of everything.
Aquarius: Almost always into sci-fi or video games or something like that. They’re fascinated by humanity, but hate people. Proud of their inviduality.
Pisces: Permanent head in the clouds. Tends to doodle on things without noticing. They’re always either sleepy or look like they are.

THE ZODIAC SIGNS AS TYPES OF KILLERS

Aries: Hedonistic Killers, seeks pleasure and adrenaline from killing.
Taurus: Comfort Killers, kills for material gain.
Gemini: Thrill Killers, intends to induce as much pain and terror in the victim as possible.
Cancer: Disorganized Killers, messy and disorganized, act slowly, leave clues.
Leo: Sociopathic Killers, have no remorse or guilty conscience.
Virgo: Organized Killers, works quickly, almost never gets caught, is methodical.
Libra: Mass Killers, kills multiple people on one occasion, might not even strike again.
Scorpio: Lust Killers, finds sexual gratification in killing someone else.
Sagittarius: Mission-Oriented Killers, kills a specific group of people, i.e. prostitutes.
Capricorn: Power/control Killers, kills because they enjoy exerting ultimate power over their victims.
Aquarius: Medical Killers, murders their victim under the guise of being a doctor, are rarely caught.
Pisces: Visionary Killers, hears voices from God or demons ordering them to kill.

super accurate zodiac

aries: makes ppl upset on purpose cause they think its funny. it usually is pretty funny. cool at parties.
taurus: one track mind. chill out some time damn?
gemini: im scared of you but keep doing what you doing
cancer: have u tried yoga
leo: loyal and super fuckin smart but a dick. u probably bottle up your emotions cause you got a brand to maintain
virgo: plays league too much
libra: youre really gay. keep being gay.
scorpio: not as much of a dick as everyone says. you just don’t open up right away. leos think youre cool probably
sagittarius: you need…. a nap
capricorn: vsry kind but also sometimes a downer. turn up some time capricorn. ur friends wanna see u smile
aquarius: ur always fixing shit? in your spare time you steal peoples souls and sell them back for billions of dollars
pisces: mom friend