the zodiac according to tumblr

Aries: as angry as a cat actively being sprayed with a hose
Taurus: they’re just a literal rock like on the ground
Gemini: two robots that combine into one bigger robot
Cancer: every baby in the world crying at the same time
Leo: a golden retriever during a house party
Virgo: Napoleon Bonaparte
Libra: a flock of Canadian geese
Scorpio: army drill instructor from Hell
Sagittarius: a librarian succubus
Capricorn: bees
Aquarius: a magic the gathering tournament
Pisces: those plants that curl up when you touch them