Xenoblade X won’t be a TRUE Xeno game unless…

4thdslip:

• The art book accounts for the ~10,000 years leading up to the events of the game.
• There is a gruesome plot point involving cannibalism.
• It features an infuriatingly difficult-to-control Doll-battling minigame.
• Jesus is two or more pivotal characters.
• There’s a poorly-made puzzle dungeon late game.
• A character is crucified in a scene devoid of any meaningful symbolism.
• Tatsu inquires if Lao just saw his MAD SKILLZ at some point.
• There’s a fade-to-black sex scene between Elma and the avatar.
• The camera won’t stop giving Lynlee panty shots.
• The Pope is either
• A teenage girl in an incestuous relationship.
• A reject Disney villain with an evil mech powered by God.
• Fei and KOS-MOS are mentioned by name.
• Every copy comes with the TRUE version of Xenogears Disc 2.
• Square Enix and Namco team up and port it to the PS4.
• It contains no references to that dumb Wii game for babies.